JOCCH ROCK [NSFW]

I’d be careful listening to this one too loudly in your office. Ookay puts on a sick show that just happens to have an aggressive amount of profanity. While we don’t hate on the profanity, we just don’t want to give your boss anymore reason to fire you outside of you being way more jacked than him.

Ookay

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Educate Yourself IV

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1. Eleiko Sports

Are you looking to put together a home gym? Perhaps treat yourself to a barbell and weights. Well, if you want to use the best of the best, I suggest you look into Eleiko. Yeah, their stuff is expensive, but it is of OLYMPIC quality (like this is the official bar and weights of the Games). If you have the extra dough, spend it.

 

2. Best “cardio” machine ever invented:

Ok, it’s a tie for first. You have a couple options here if you’re looking to add that perfect piece of conditioning machinery to your gym or house.

You have the Airdyne. A exercise bike forged in the depths of Hell and created using metal spun from Satan’s Anvil. This thing is not your typical spin bike. The huge fan for a wheel creates plenty of resistance and allows you to burn through some calories and train your metabolic pathways to your liking. It is also a great way to cool down post workout. P.S. Look for one that is all metal. The plastic one is garbage.

Your second option is the Concept 2 rower. Don’t use that silly thing you find at Equinox. This thing is the real deal. If you didn’t know, indoor rowing is actually it’s own sport, and these machines are used as training devices for actual rowing you’ve seen in the Olympics. What makes this thing great is that it is also another solid conditioning and cool down piece of equipment. It allows you to condition through various distances, intervals, or mixing and matching with other various barbell and non-barbell movements.

You’d be doing yourself a disservice by putting together a home gym and leaving one of these two out.

 

3. Video of the Week

Don’t you feel strong now?

 

 

Educate Yourself III
Educate Yourself II
Educate Yourself I

Mobile Necessities

Your cellphone is more than just a piece of technology used for taking selfies (but DAMN!) and pictures of that protein stacked meal, bruh. Like the use of apps to help you through your life.

So I know that there are plenty of apps out there, and I’m sure you have your reasons on why the apps you have are the best “EVAR”! Look, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat are great and all, but we all have those. So what. These apps are ones that will not only be helpful to you, but might also be great for you and your gang of muscle-bound, handsome-ass, suave dudes (or fine-looking, beautiful, strong women).

1. Venmo

You know what’s the worst? When you and your friend go out to a restaurant and then one tries to pay with cash, two have their card, and then your one pal who never brings money everywhere. Don’t worry, Venmo allows you to easily transfer money to your friends bank accounts FOR FREE. That’s right. Free. All you have to do is sign up for the app and attach your account. We at Swollhaus use it all the time. Mostly for beer money and side bets on who can lift the most weight, but you can see it has its other benefits as well.

2. Soundcloud

You have your favorite music artist, but they’re not on Pandora? Well, if they’re not as well known as you’d like, they might be on Soundcloud. Not only can you find your favorite artist, but you can listen to songs as you please and even see your friends favorite jams. Hey, you could even follow our account to check out what we’re pumping through our speakers during the latest Swollhaus Meathaus Beerhaus Extravaganza.

3. Mint

So you’re a dude who cares about his finances. We get that. This app will track your monthly spending through your debit and credit card transactions. You can budget your funds between sweet tank tops and protein money for a monthly basis and track dem monies. Net income, monthly income, spending habits Mint has it all.

4. Uber

Ah, so you like to party, but you want to get home safely. Respect my friend. Uber is your taxi service. Cashless and simple, Uber will get you where you need to be. There are some areas where they are light on Uber drivers, but most places seem to have some in the area. Uber is your ultimate designated driver.

5. Evernote

Trying to keep track of all your workouts and weights and such? Tired of trying to remember it from your phone and from your tablet AND your computer? Evernote will allow you to take notes and organize them all while making them accessible from all of your devices. Never again will you forget your maxes and misload your barbell. Well, I can’t guarantee the misloading of the barbell.

6. IFTTT

This app and website will “put the internet to work for your”. Create your own triggers to keep you updated on news, photos, events, or even help organize all the sweet selfies you take of yourself in the gym post curl session. Check out all their different channels of connection and put the internet to work for you. For cheap, by cheap I mean free. That’s like free labor.

7. Tap Hunter

Are you a lifter who has a palate for the finer beers in life? Want to know who has what in your local area? Tap hunter will tell you what is on tap in your local area as long as the businesses update their taps through the Tap Hunter system. Usually, if they’re carrying awesome beers, then they will most likely be on this system. While you can guarantee yourself the best places to find beer, don’t count on this app to lead you to places to keep the diet clean.